This is a few years old but honestly, it's one of the funniest things i have ever read. I found 'It's decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers' by Colin Nissan in McSweeney's Internet Tendency. So since Christmas is around the corner and plastic decorations will soon be in our faces, have a read and get inspired to fuck this festive season up with bonbons and tinsel and shit!
HoHoHo muthafuckers!
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